saints or sinners?

In the same vein as Jay Leno's perennial question "straight or gay" (lest it is "gay or straight" - who cares in this P.C. world anymore - eh? It is a funny segment on Leno's show) - let us thoroughly analyze now the qualities and the faults of many an illuminary... shall we? Ok? Good! ~ NOTA BENE: perhaps because of the subject matter, this blog is neither perfect with IE, nor with Firefox!

Saturday, May 09, 2020

Introduction - sending out that S.O.S.

This is a blog about SAINTS... (Says Grandpa)
SINS? (Boy asks, faintly)
-And SINNERS too-

(for they often hang out together, somehow, y'know...) 

You know a saint by his deed-dees 
And a sinner by his poo 
Don't mess with saints or them sissies too
But in the Grand Scheme of All Things, 
Great and Small, 
who's to pee all over this sh**...?

Sinners - cross out the sinners! 
Saintly - do it as saintly...
as possible! 

You should adopt the Good Method 
and only single out the sin 
Let the sinner go scot free 
as the saint - it's a win-win! 
However be aware that in the Order of Everything 
there'll be HELL to pay - one day...!

Sinners - cast out the suckers!
Saintly - as saintly as possible...!

(Please play some accordeon now - don't ask...)
(And, if you don't like this so far, 
 don't call the cops on us either!)

And so here is the entire raison d'être of
Saints Or Sinners!

Actually, there are more of the latter
and less of the former, here - far less! 
FARRRRR LESS... we think!!!
But let us NOT be the judges of that...
Let us just, er, WATCH 

Nota Bene: 
Aye, you can sing the words penned for mirth's sake, 
above, to the tune of the classic, if odd, 
''Check Out The Chicken'' 
by Grandmaster Chicken & D.J. Duck. 
(With wink-wink nods to a missionary and Eurythmics too!)
That's right - G.C. & D.J.D. -
there's two saintly sinners right there 
if I've ever seen some myself...! 
(Only slightly better than Fresh Prince and Jazzy Jeff...
Eurythmics? They're strictly the latter category...!)

We admit having a considerably soft spot for this other bunch tho:
a Portuguese outfit known as... Santos & Pecadores 
(exactly what we need - well, almost! 
We want ''saintly sinners'' and these are 
saints and sinners - working side-by-side em conjunto 
as the Grandpa and the Grandson say, 
in our revised lyrics for the Chicken & Duck duet! 
Muito Obrigado... but no!)

Doesn't stop us from appreciating their repertoire... 
Our very own S.O.S. Patron Saints, however, 
absolutely have to be these three: 
Guitar George... 
Honky Tonk Harry 
(aka Harry Who ''Doesn't Mind If He Doesn't Make The Scene'')
and Mark Knopfler... 
The Sultans Of Swing! 

And they're our kind of sinners, too!

What - were you expecting The Police?
(Sending Out An S.O.S. - duh)

Now if all that's not ooky enough for ya,  
you can show some sympathy where the sun don't shine! 
I ain't no saint, boys & assorted humanoids -
nah, not me! 
Maybe the other guy... Ty!

But that's another story... 

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